Get all 15 Old Joy releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Too Sick For School, Go Away Evil, Feelin Far, Say When, Trash Your Life, Hook, Line & Sinking, Monks Aflame, Baby Below You, and 7 more.
1. |
Shameless Conviction
03:49
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It's a shameless conviction that you hold when you grow old
There's hair growin where there should be brains
it's on my head, its on my head
and I'm wishin i was livin when I should be wishin i was dead
wish i was dead
it's a shameless conviction that you hold when you grow old
and there's students lookin like they should be adults
its not their fault
and there's kids growin up in shopping carts
who call out farts with hard dark hearts
and a lotta permission always bein given
by the under-driven "miss daisy" dribblers on the grin-chin listenin in to diggers digging into things they shouldn't be involved in,
couldn't have evolved this cold look queenside rook cornered by a right-hand hook and taken by a pawn, she was taken by a pawn
it's a shameless conviction that you hold when you grow old
And there's cancer growin like the hair on cats
if it falls right off it'll come right back
don't worry you none you're the second son
and you'll get whats coming to ya, got it all comin to ya
it's a shameless conviction that you hold when you grow old
and you're gonna get old
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2. |
Hold my Heart
02:05
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There's a part of me that I know i shouldn't be
scary grin, sick & thin with a gigantic mistake on his arm
some stitch from an unacknowledged itch
clawed your way from a drain that you used to call a lake
alright or uptight why are you looking down? I'm up here i'll be around
oh i'm too tired to fight it now i need a friend... til we meet again
if you push too hard you might break the debit card
'got no choice,' said my voice as I broke into the home
I can see myself in a thousand diffferent hells
i'm not scared, i've been there & I know I'm not alone
heat haze a meat maze we wade thru gettin old letting go of you
sometimes there is nothing else you can do
is it over so soon?
when we start hold my heart til i need it but don't read it
it's not yours, its not for you
but you can hold it til i want it back
if i ever do
but its not for you
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3. |
Butterflies
02:21
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the butterflies you feel will fade
sticky fingers into lemonade
the beauty that you see in me
soon will become commonplace
but i'm gonna milk it for all its worth
i'm gonna make a pretty picture now
photo booth photograph,
empty bottle, clock half past
glass half full, you drain the dregs
i'm gonna see you on the regs
i'm gonna see you on the regs now
i've loved before & i'll love again
i don't want a new best friend
easy to slip, hard to fall
i know these things never end
but i'm gonna milk it for all it's worth
i'm gonna save these pretty pictures now
new years eve, not alone
smell the vodka thru the phone
he's my baby, he was mine
i loved him until he died
i loved him until he died
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4. |
Don't Go Down
04:20
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i met a girl, snowball in hell
she was hard & as cracked as the liberty bell
i got her to come on & move in w/ me
& i said we'd find a better place we could spend eternity
don't go down
stay w/ me baby stay
her momma called me a thief
& her dad called himself commander in chief
i fought em off w/ my love
but i knew the sense of worthlessness you have to rise above
don't go down
stay w/ me baby stay
she had a dream, woke up in shock
she could see her own body outlined in chalk
i split the scene, the globe'd been spun
& her ghost beamed down to kiss me w/ a message from the sun:
don't go down
stay with me, baby stay
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5. |
New Tokyo
04:01
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streetwalk phantoms, honed orgasms, now you feel at home
dreams of scenes that never seemed bad until you weren't alone
some voice whispered in your ear from some faraway land
nobody plans... plans to understand
cats on couches, future spouses, potential you can't see
hang your hopes on velvet rope forever out of reach
dreamin of a tree lined street, the smell after it rains
a sudden pain, a bug inside a drain
moonlight never is as bright
it's alright to reflect the sun
someone has to do the job
don't stop, do it til it's done
someone's making messy feelings spilling them on you
every drop, each stain & spot's another job to do
you suppose you should be grateful there's a place for you
something to lose so you don't have to choose
you get tired of desire, tired of tried-and-true
you'd sometimes rather nothing matter until you're black & blue
stare uncaring at the void that's staring back at you
but who is who?
you don't have a clue
get real, you never really feel okay
feelings pass away
don't lie, it's still better to try
don't cry, everybody dies
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6. |
Everybody
03:33
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i been missin you & i dont know why
heard you're gettin married to a pretty good guy
i got some letters to remind me i was loved
but if i read em i would wanna give up
had a dream last night you were in concrete
half of you buried & half trying to get free
you cried & screamed & writhed & i tried to help you
some other guy was lookin at us too
you been buyin flowers only fake ones are cheap
you've invited everybody but you haven't called me
i've been climbin towers only tall ones for me
so i can look down on everybody
i got depressed & started taking lots of drugs
everybody told me i should grow the fuck up
i didn't listen i just grew out my hair
i went from bein sad to bein really scared
love is the dumbest thing i've ever tried to do
but nothing's dumber than trying to love you
you got a good life now you're out there on your own
guess i can't help it so i'll leave it alone
you been buyin flowers only fake ones are cheap
you've invited everybody but you haven't called me
i've been climbin towers only tall ones for me
so i can look down on everybody
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7. |
I'm Always Right
03:54
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books are full of folks who simply know
forests full of trees that simply grow
graveyards full of things simply let go
why are you so broken, don't you know?
always askin someone for permission
just to have an ear you know will listen
lustful light makes sickening things glisten
heaven didn't take him he died & went to prison
a cavity is just a hole, a body doesn't have a soul
a bell will always pay a toll, she killed a baby for a role
always lookin out for little weaklings
freaks and stupid people seek me out
suck up to someone seemingly unseemly
but who really is just too dumb to doubt
salt adds flavor to many dishes
blood adds flavor to a boring day
eyelashes and 1s and dash to wishes
i just wish my eyes would go away
a cavity is just a hole, a body doesn't have a soul
a bell will always pay a toll, she killed a baby for a role
I'll never unsee some things that I saw
I should be dead should be in jail or gone
I'll never get to see an in or out-law
I'm always right I wish I could be wrong
a cavity is just a hole, a body doesn't have a soul
a bell will always pay a toll, she killed a baby for a role
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8. |
Good Go By
02:58
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I'm getting good at hating everything I do
ain't misbehaving but i'm losing you
gotta try to try
to let the good go by
I'll never be untrue
half in love with you
gotta try to try
to let the good go by
I'm getting bad at waiting
for a better time
I'll quit complaining when I learn to lie
you told me 'have a heart'
but it got too hard
nothing makes me feel like losing
give me my best day
take it all away
gotta try to try
to let the bad go by
bye
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9. |
You Can Co-Depend On Me
02:39
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I'm waiting by my window
watching all the cars
people with their strollers
the walking broken hearts
I'm dreamin of the past
when you were my friend
we would walk the city
we never will again
i codepend on you to give me love
i codepend on you to give me love
i codepend on you to give a fuck
we were never star crossed lovers
fated to the end
we were never all that gorgeous
but man did we pretend
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10. |
Company Car
03:49
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it was the company car that he took upstate
he put his hand on her arm but her face said it was too late
it was dark when he came
he checked in at night
under pictures of Elvis by an old Bakelite
oh the concierge scowled, she was sixty four
when he asked for his key she kept her eyes on the door
it's the room upstairs, is what she finally said
and when he got inside his head dropped like a rock on the bed
& he fell asleep, had a lonely dream
about his boyhood home & he woke up in the bed alone
it was the company car that he took upstate
he put his hand on her arm but her face said it was too late
he remembered her, the first face he sees
when he wakes up now but she still feels unreal like dreams
it was a business trip, some minute bullshit
it's just the time of my life, it doesn't mean anything
used to wasting time for a real good cause
an inevitable death never gave him pause
if he thinks of her, he just wants to go
used to make him wanna live but now he's dying slow
it was the company car that he took upstate
he put his hand on her arm but her face said it was too late
that's just how it goes is what his dad would say
but his dad's been dead now for ten thousand days
he knows people leave & their love does too
but if you work real hard it doesn't get to you
so he kept his job & what a job to do
don't work too hard get an early grave
but in his mind his life is pretty much the same
it was the company car that he took upstate
he put his hand on her arm but her face said it was too late
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11. |
Don't Turn on Me
02:23
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1, 2, 3, 4,
don't turn on me, i'm not that bad
i've been your friend, been all you had
remembering the things we shared
now all of it's lighter than air
i's there for you summer & fall
you had no clue you had it all
don't turn on me, it looks easy
what seems cheap now is never free
you'll pay for it, someday you'll trip
look for relief but you turned on me
you turned on me
(solo :0 )
don't turn on me, don't be a wheel
don't kill the part of you that feels
i know it's hard to stand by me
you're on your guard understandably
but i stood by you i had your back
i was always true, i shouldn't have to ask
don't turn on me, you turn me on
turn me around & send me off
don't turn on me, don't be a wheel
don't kill the part of you that feels
you'll pay for it, someday you'll stare
into the mirror, see there's nothing there
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12. |
Called Me Al
04:18
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They called me Alexander
not a name I'd choose
& told me to protect the people
that I'd sooner lose
Now i'm angry & I won't get over it
How to explain things to a soul that's never slipped?
This is it, all you have, all you can & cannot stand
from the tower to the pier
& the water dark & clear, it's all here
They called me Don Francisco, not a name I'd pick
& told me that my fate would be the short end of the stick
now i'm facin every fear i've ever had
& the strange thing: I'm not terrified but sad
People hate & they kill & they never get their fill
if i die on this hill I'll live forever
They named me Presidente
not a name I want
& hinted towards my destiny:
to win & still get shot
now I'm shaking but it isn't just for me
How to explain things to those who've never had to see?
Broken dreams & the men who are still attached to them
hueless fields, monochrome, bleedin out far from home
still a stranger when in Rome
God only knows, but maybe he don't
They named me John the Baptist
not a name I'd ask
Nothing that i've ever done is something I'll get back
now i'm fading as I've every right to do
fame is waiting for the next of us to use
do your best, clear the way for the word you have to say
a placid storm, a crushing calm
I payed attention never alms
I never asked once what I was here for
I grew rich enough to die quite poor
I never once asked what there was to miss
& I grew poor enough to die quite rich
& I grew poor enough to die
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13. |
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you'd kill for a fig cake
but now you've learned from those mistakes
you're ready for paradise
nobody's restless
nobody's hard-pressed anymore
all around you it's poor poor poor poor me
as far as the driest eye can see
it's such a let-down
it would bum anybody out
we wanna get rowdy
if it's even allowed here anymore
we're thinkin of romance
cuz nobody's happy
nobody laughs here anymore
all around you it's why why why why me?
as far as the sober eye can see
it's so depressing
it's so much less than you'd expect
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14. |
Poem #2
04:40
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i don't wanna watch you grow up
i don't wanna watch us grow apart
i don't want the changing of the seasons
changing how i see you in my heart
some folks are meant to be a memory
& only walk with you the time that's theirs
some memories are meant to be forgotten
but you're my heart's favorite sleeve to wear
& i remember how you first told me you were shy
& when you said you were my best friend
& i remember how the sun lit up your eyes
i'm trying not to think of that again
I still feel your toes curling around mine on the couch
i still feel your fingers in my hair
i still feel your love somewhere inside me
even though i know that it's not there
i don't wanna see you as you are now
i hope you're happy that's good enough for me
i just wanna see you as you once were
holdin my hand, believin in my dreams
& i remember how you cried & held my hand
tellin me that it was the end
& i remember how you said it would all be fine
i'm tryin not to think of that again
i don't wanna think of that again
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15. |
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my eyes are swimmin with the stars
one of them is me
my friends are all between the bars
trying so hard to be free
my head's a paper party cup
eyes as wide as empty moons
my face is always lookin' up
my tongue carries a tune
your back is lookin crooked
you're a flower & you wilt
saw an exit & you took it
across a bridge you didn't build
on a road you never paved
in a car you never bought
If you float you will be saved
if you sink you just will not
no if's and's or but's about it
no reason not to is too frail
you know that you're too dumb to doubt it
you're too stupid to fail
fake names at an open mic
fake friends by your side
fake feelings that i hope you like
fake stars light up the night
i had a dream of a ferris wheel
i kissed you at the top
your mouth felt wet & very real
my love for you did not
holdin' hands in my old room
perfume on the tv
you wished that i could love you soon
i just wished i could be me
never knew just who he was
just knew that he was there
in between the awful fuss
& the ecstatic despair
dad he always said to me
the world just isn't fair
it doesn't owe you shit or sheen
it just doesn't fucking care
and i believed the things he said
i guess that i still do
now i'm happy i'm not dead
because i'm next to you
you just talk a good deal less
than i ever could
it honestly makes me impressed
makes me dream in "shoulds"
you never asked me where i'm going
you only ask me why
there is a sick comfort in knowing
that both of us will die
makes me feel like its all good
we're in it while we can
makes me feel misunderstood
by all my old plans
i know i was the last in line
i waited all damn day
the place was closed & that was fine
it's much better this way
i watched them all in single file
walk in & dissappear
i left at the 11th mile
so yeah, i'm still here
i would feel guilty, i would feel bad
i almost thought I did
but sometimes every thing is sad
it's not my fault you couldn't live
i didn't choose the path you took
or even pick your part
but now that you can't even look
i'm showing you your heart
you danced alone in apartments
you went to movies too
no one knew where your heart went
once it went out of you
i can't claim to know a single thing
if i ever did i forgot
and if i was myself i'd sing
if i wasn't i would not
i guess that's how you are too
or how you used to be
i used to wish that i was you
now i wish you were me
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Old Joy Austin, Texas
Scum Pop/Power Trash from Chicago IL
Now located in Austin TX
Booking/press: onesockman@gmail.com
IG: @oldjoychicago
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